Smaller Moments that change you.

Growing up in Utah was great and at the same time bad. Great because I never felt threatened, except for that time a car pulled up next to me and a guy asked me to come over and give him directions to some place; of course I told him to buzz off, thanks McGruff! Bad because I never really got to see a world that I didn't even know existed. Okay, I am probably generalizing, and it happens to every kid, but I like to think I am special and it only happened to me.

Anywho, my mission was a big wake up call on a lot of things. Most of which I won't talk about right now, but in the future. Even then I didn't really get it. It wasn't until a few months after I got home off my mission did I realize some things.

For some reason I didn't like the idea of donating blood. Upon reflection I think to myself that I didn't really want a person sticking needles in me and so I searched for rationalizations to not donate. My rationalization was that we donate blood for free and the Red Cross and others turn around and sell it for buko bucks. No way am I going to contribute to a system where they sell something that they get for free. Not once during my whole life did I find anyone that would say I was wrong. Sure there was a person or to that said they would do it anyway, but on the whole I was never challenged. One day while I was working a friend of mine and I got onto that discussion. I spewed out my very well practiced speech of being a moral human being and not supporting a greedy system. After which he responded, "well, I think it's a karma thing. I did my part, what they do has nothing to do with me."

That stuck with me. For some reason it had never occurred to me that I should do the right thing no matter what others did about it. Salvation is personal after all. I don't think God will throw me down to hell because I gave money to a charity that was corrupt, but we will be very disappointed if I didn't give money to charity at all. I gave blood at the very next opportunity, although it lead to a lot of laughs and incriminating pictures. I now look for more opportunities to give blood, I don't go as out of my way as I should, but then again there are a lot of things I don't do as well as I should. At least the intention is there, let's see if I can do anything with it.

The Honest Truth

I've always tried to be honest with my kids. If I say I am going to do something I, for the most part, am willing to go all the way with it. This goes along with plans for family activities, games and punishments. Of course I will be the first to admit that I probably hand out more second chances then my kids deserve but for the most part I believe that they learn the lessons and that is what is most important.

I grew up with this idea in my head that I could do anything I wanted, or at very least be what I wanted to be. I guess in theory it's still true, but I tend to let my pessimist side speak up on this issue and say that it isn't true. I believe that sooner or later a person has to come to the conclusion that there are just more people that are better than you at certain things then you will ever be. Sure you can work your heart out and get really good at whatever you set your mind to, but like it or not, there are people out there that just have a talent for it.

I am brought back to an episode of my life when I was in middle school and in the concert band. I was second chair, out of three, and I really wanted the number one spot. In order to move up in the "chair rankings" you had to challenge others to a "play-off" with a song of your choosing. Every week I challenged the number-one guy, and every week I lost. I practiced my heart out at home, and he freely gloated how he didn't practice at all. So I tried, and tried and I never won. Well, he eventually moved away so then I won by default and the number-three guy dropped out. So I was the only one left by high school. I learned, or at least began to learn, that sometimes you just aren't going to be good enough and perhaps you should keep searching for your Talent. I capitalize Talent because I still hold the belief that God gives everyone something they do really well and it's just our job to find out.

Anyway, my daughter doesn't like to lose. She gets a bit pouty about it. I've explained to her about being a good sport but the other day I felt that it was time to explain the situation to her. Of course I am not so callous as to tell her how cruel the world is and such. I just explained that sometimes you don't win, often times in the case of some people. She explained that she did her best. I explained that she should practice, but even then, you will not always win. "Enjoy the game" I told her and be happy for the winners. You will win sometimes, but you will also lose.

Perhaps it was a little too harsh a lesson to expound on a five-year-old. I don't know. I didn't realize so much of parenting came down to just making it up as you go along, no matter what all the parenting books say.