How to screw-up a perfectly good missionary opportunity

Now having grown up in mormonville my whole life I don't have a lot of experience talking to people of other faiths, well about faith anyway, I talk to them all the time. Since most everyone I know are of the LDS faith we have a lingo and sometimes we take it for granted. Nevertheless, I had an experience this past week that reminded me what a weak willed fool I am when it comes to openly talking about my faith with others.

First, as part of my own justification, therefore meaningless, I have to say that I am a passive person. I don't like confrontation and I always seem to have a problem expressing my point of view in a persuasive manner. I did serve a mission, that helps, but let's be honest, like marriage your companion takes the slack for your weaknesses as you help him with his. Self-justification done? Now on with the story.

So my family and I went camping again this past week. We stayed a little longer this time and it was more fun because of it, and we were a little better prepared, even with the rain. Late the second day a family of three pulled up and set up camp on the campsite across from us. They had a little boy that was the same age as my little girl, so of course my wife wanted to introduce them so they could play together. She invited the mother and the son over to roast marshmallows, the father was otherwise occupied. So the woman was chatting up my wife, if you haven't chatted with my wife you certainly should, she has never had an English class but her English is good and she learned it chatting. Anyway, the woman asked how we met and my wife responded that we met on our mission. This is were Mormon lingo comes in, in Utah when you say "My mission" people understand that you are talking about a two-year period that you spent for the LDS church spreading the Gospel. Outside of Utah people think of some military operation, at least from my understanding, please note that once again my knowledge of what others think outside of Utah is very limited. So the woman is of course confused and asks "A christen mission?" Suddenly my wife has to take care of something for one of the kids and I am left to answer. My mind starts racing, 'how in the world do I explain a mission in a sentence?', 'some people don't think we are christens. how do I explain that?', 'I also don't want to give the impression that an LDS mission is some kind of place to fall in love (I will explain the whole thing later this summer, it's not what you think)', 'didn't the ruling for the same-sex marriage just come down in California? Is she going to want to talk about that?'. 'I really don't want to get into a religious debate while I'm on vacation.' I think the last one was by far the biggest stumbling block of my train of thought. So I answered, "Yes, we served a christen mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" I didn't add "The Mormons" because I was already running for metaphorical cover from a religious debate. At that point my wife came back and the issue wasn't raised again.

Moral of the story? I'm a coward when it comes to really opening up about my faith. Sure, I hide behind the story that I am just trying to be a good example, but let's be honest, your example is going to leave a good impression on people but it sure isn't going to inspire faith. My suggestion to myself and to anyone that cares is that we shouldn't be afraid, and should just dive right in no matter what. Why? Because the gospel brings happiness that they might otherwise never know on this Earth.

Well, there you go.

Body Modification

Now my wife and I consider ourselves to be Liberal Mormons. I could go over all the things that we believe that go against the grain but then you could read all the wonderful things I've written, and I wouldn't want to do that.

Anyway, one problem that my wife and I can't seem to come to any real conclusion is the one about body modification, primarily breast enhancement. I am pretty sure that the church's stand is that you shouldn't violate the temple of your body. Well, then again what about all the things that we do to our bodies that are okay.

I had braces growing up. Although for me it wasn't really a simple question about just cosmetics, my teeth were REALLY bad. It was healthy for me to get my teeth straightened. Then again I could just be justifying my position. Even if it was simply cosmetic I think it's important for a persons self-confidence and how the world perceives that person. Let's be honest, a smile is important for first impressions.

The Church puts a big no on tattoos but doesn't seem to have anything to say about lasik surgery. We are modifying our eyes when for the most part a person could just use glasses. It's cosmetic, I think. In the future I hope to one day have a cornea transplant, I have a genetic eye defect. Is this kind of body modification bad? I don't think so.

What about hair removal systems? Hair transplants? Is God's position just a matter of how invasive the procedure is? Or would he not care if the modification wasn't for simple selfish reasons?

I don't know. My gut says breast augmentation is bad, but then again, I'm a guy and don't understand the self-confidence issues that go along with it.

The Honest Truth

I've always tried to be honest with my kids. If I say I am going to do something I, for the most part, am willing to go all the way with it. This goes along with plans for family activities, games and punishments. Of course I will be the first to admit that I probably hand out more second chances then my kids deserve but for the most part I believe that they learn the lessons and that is what is most important.

I grew up with this idea in my head that I could do anything I wanted, or at very least be what I wanted to be. I guess in theory it's still true, but I tend to let my pessimist side speak up on this issue and say that it isn't true. I believe that sooner or later a person has to come to the conclusion that there are just more people that are better than you at certain things then you will ever be. Sure you can work your heart out and get really good at whatever you set your mind to, but like it or not, there are people out there that just have a talent for it.

I am brought back to an episode of my life when I was in middle school and in the concert band. I was second chair, out of three, and I really wanted the number one spot. In order to move up in the "chair rankings" you had to challenge others to a "play-off" with a song of your choosing. Every week I challenged the number-one guy, and every week I lost. I practiced my heart out at home, and he freely gloated how he didn't practice at all. So I tried, and tried and I never won. Well, he eventually moved away so then I won by default and the number-three guy dropped out. So I was the only one left by high school. I learned, or at least began to learn, that sometimes you just aren't going to be good enough and perhaps you should keep searching for your Talent. I capitalize Talent because I still hold the belief that God gives everyone something they do really well and it's just our job to find out.

Anyway, my daughter doesn't like to lose. She gets a bit pouty about it. I've explained to her about being a good sport but the other day I felt that it was time to explain the situation to her. Of course I am not so callous as to tell her how cruel the world is and such. I just explained that sometimes you don't win, often times in the case of some people. She explained that she did her best. I explained that she should practice, but even then, you will not always win. "Enjoy the game" I told her and be happy for the winners. You will win sometimes, but you will also lose.

Perhaps it was a little too harsh a lesson to expound on a five-year-old. I don't know. I didn't realize so much of parenting came down to just making it up as you go along, no matter what all the parenting books say.

Gone campin'

First of all I would like to thank the people out there leaving their trash in the wilderness. This picture was taken with my cell phone and has a wonderful view, except for the trash. Please if you are going out to enjoy nature please remember that this mother isn't going to pick up after you.

Anyway, I've never been a camping kind of guy. I did the whole scouting thing, but it didn't hold. My wife loves the idea of camping. She never did it as a child but she did it once when she was older and loved it. Nevertheless as I write this my wife is enjoying toasting some marshmallows, and to give you some idea of how much she likes them, she just turned to me after eating one and said "I don't need you anymore." She likes them that much. Anyway, it's nice to be camping and it looks like for the first time I'm enjoying it. I guess it is what happens to you when you become a father.

Thoughts on a Mother

Okay it's Mother's Day so of course I wish all the mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day.

Now I just want to talk a little about the closest mother in my life at the very moment. My wife and the mother of my children. My wife as I have stated plenty of times is Latina and her first language is Spanish. She grew up in a third-world country (although she takes offence when I call her country a third-world country. She asks 'who gave you guys the right to say we aren't the ones that are doing it right?') and her mother wasn't the best of mothers at the time she was born.

The fact of the matter is that my wife grew up with her grandparents for the most part. They were really her parents. Just as a side note, my wife doesn't know who her biological father is; her mom knows but has never gone out of her way to fill her daughter in.

My wife's childhood was hard and she has the scars to prove it. She doesn't consider that her childhood was hard, but when I compare the way I grew up with the way she grew up it scares me.

So despite all the things that happened to my wife and all the things that could have swayed her to do any number of horrible things. She stayed the course and I am very proud to have her as my wife and very proud that she is the mother of my children. I couldn't ask for anyone better.

Happy Mother's Day, mi morena codiciable.