Better Living Through Chemistry

A long time ago back when I used to be an Ultra-nerd instead of the Mega-nerd that I am now. I used to play a RPG that had a chapter of the same name that I am naming this post. From time to time I like to say it out loud to people whenever it suits the situation.

The problem that I face as a Mormon Father is that I have a lot I get to deal with on a daily basis. The worst part is that since I work in the early morning often I don't get the sleep I need. This usually leads me to consider the evils of chemical stimulation.

I think on the whole the Lord councils us to avoid addictive substances. Caffeine being the one that I am referring to at the moment. He outright disallows coffee and from my understanding of a recent Ensign article (sorry we read the Liahona in our home and I haven't read it yet.) he is outlawing energy drinks. I thought this was an overall good move because a couple of years back I started to drink those things and I can tell you that once you start drinking those babies then anytime you feel tired you start jonesing for them. Since then I don't touch them. But from time to time when I don't get enough sleep I find myself reaching for a Coke, Pepsi or Mountain Dew, I usually start thinking to myself "well, the Lord hasn't banned these yet and I still have to get though today's classes."

So this is the problem that I often face. On the one hand the Lord wants me to avoid addictive substances so I don't become addicted to them and he wants me to learn good habits like getting to bed early so that I won't need the chemicals. While on the other hand I certainly don't live a perfect life and from time to time, things don't go well and I reach for that chemical help. Kinda sounds like I am depending on the arm of flesh.

Anyway, the Lord sets up this bar and he wants me to reach for it. I'll fall and try again, but I can't help but understand all those people that drink that morning coffee. I know that all they want to do is feel like they're alive and ready to face the day. I feel that way when I get a good night's rest, but when I'm tired, I can't help but be tempted to reach for that soda that will help me survive the day. Good thing God created repentance.

Everyone needs a challenge

Along side my Xbox and in it's hard drive I have a number of games that are great for playing with others. I have a couple that are just incredible for comparing high scores.

But what happens if nobody among your friends/family want to challenge your dominance? Not that I don't think they would try if they could but it seems to me that a lot of them just don't care or are interested in the same kind of challenges that I'm interested in. I've always thought that there is a desire for competition buried deep within the male psyche, of which I count myself. Although I am not a big fan of sports I really enjoy games of the mind, and a good sporting event isn't lost on me, but I still like the trivia stuff a little more.

For example last year my wife was kind enough to buy me Scene It for the Xbox 360. A very good game although the humor is dry and the animation scenes are mediocre. But the trivia about movies is great. I played it with all of my one friends once, and I beat his wife and him without breaking a sweat. I didn't gloat, I didn't boast, but they never really wanted to play with me again. The same goes for my family. I played it once with them a couple of times and I won every time. Except once, but I threw that game because my wife said that my brother-in-law was getting kind of irritated that no one could beat me, I don't know if he realized that I threw the game, but he should have. Come on, I missed questions about Back to the Future. I grew up watching that movie! Nevertheless not one member of my family has wanted to play that game with me again.

I'm not good at every game out there and I really believe that I am a good sport. It just breaks my heart sometimes when I really want to challenge someone and nobody I know wants to be challenged. What is a guy to do, I guess I'll just try beating the computer on hard again.

Blogish Laments

I've stated before that I have been blogging for a while.  In the past my blogs have more or less been just ramblings.  I've drifted from topic to topic, sharing my opinion as I went along.  The main reason I created this new blog is because I wanted a blog that had a specific purpose.  That purpose being one that I plan to spend my time in reflection on myself and spirituality.  I'll hit and I'll miss but at least I have a target and perhaps with time I may actually get it right most of the time.

On one of my other blogs, the random one if you look at my list to the right, I've been blogging for almost a year.  I've never been popular among the community primarily because the community does not appreciate a religious point of view, let alone one that comes from a member of the LDS faith.  I've never let that bother me, until the other day.  For the most part I would ignore the trolls that would frequent my posts, but from time to time I felt compelled to respond.  Often when I would respond a kind on online argument would ensue and eventually they would make personal attacks against me.  I would end the discussion when this would happen by ceasing to respond, because I felt that any further response would be useless.  Nevertheless I posted an entry that brought a troll that would misrepresent my point entirely, of course I tried to clarify myself and as history would indicate eventually the discussion degraded into him insulting my character.  At that point I decided that these comments and discussions were taking up more of my time then I liked and I really would like to take the time to create a post as one would a work of art and know that no one could defile it as I had placed it.  So I disabled my comments and posted an entry explaining myself and apologizing to those that enjoyed my blog and to those that would make intelligent comments.

Suffice it to say this created a whirlwind of hatred toward my blog and incited several posts defaming me.  In turn I reported every one as being abusive and defamatory.  I do not know if I did the right thing or not.  I despise how often good bloggers are run off that site because of these trolls and I've decided myself not to be one of them.  I reported them in the hope that blogging on that site might be a place of real discussion instead of trolls.  Perhaps I should have let it be.  I guess I will have to live with the consequences.

The Need for Sleep 2: The Ornery and the Stupid

So the other day I was asleep and my kids started running around and having a good time and just being kids.  Needless to say, they woke me up and that is never a good thing.  I couldn't get back to sleep and I was very ornery.  I've told my wife that when I'm like that she needs to let me burn off the anger so the tiredness can set in, but I shouldn't rely on that to stop me from being ornery even though I'm tired.  So I yelled, made a big deal out of nothing and eventually it was time for me to go to work.  There was no excuse for my actions and in my ranting and carrying on I hurt my wife's feelings.

So there I was at work on only 1 hour of sleep in about 32 hours and I don't really remember most of it.  I only remember that I couldn't think straight and I would start to rant and rave about anything if someone got me started.

There are two things that really suck about fighting with your wife when you've been married for a while.  First, she remembers every time you've screwed up in the same way so there is no easy way to brush it to the side as a one time thing and the more you do it the harder it is to convince her to forgive you.  Luckily my wife understands that when you've been up for 24 hours and someone wakes you up the no one is going to be in a good mood, but that doesn't keep her feelings from getting hurt, or me from hurting them.

The second thing that sucks about fighting with your wife when you've been married for a while is just the fact that there just isn't the incentive to make up like there used to be.

Everyone has challenges that they have to overcome, one of mine is not to be a jerk when I'm tired.